Kenny and I were out late last night attending the wedding of his cousin, Amanda. Although I generally like parties, I'm a bit leery about going to wedding receptions where I only know a handful of people and where I would be the only Asian-looking guest. Such was the case last night. Fortunately, Kenny and I were seated at the table with his siblings and cousins. It was a fun table indeed as we were mostly couples of about the same age and were able to keep up a lively conversation, fueled of course by the bubbly champagne and several bottles of beer.

As can be expected, much of the conversations in our table involved recollections of our own nuptials. We traded stories on the frustrations, highlights and mishaps of planning a wedding. As much preparation as it entailed, a lot of things could go horribly wrong but overall, everybody attested that they had a great time. Looking at the young newlyweds, I'm sure their big day has far exceeded their expectations. As I listened to the speeches and watched the bride danced with her father, I felt a fleeting pang of sadness. The memory of my last dance with my Papa flashed before me like a mirage. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, savoring the moment for as long as I could.   I also indulged in a short walk down memory lane that took me back to our own wedded bliss more than four years ago. 

Over the years, I must have already attended a lot of weddings here in the US. Interestingly, most of my friends opted to get married here in the US despite the fact that their own families won't potentially be able to attend. I was quite curious about their choice then. So, when Kenny and I got engaged, the issue of where the wedding will be held was raised. It was quite a difficult ruling to make but as much as I would have liked for my family, relatives and friends in the Philippines to witness my marriage, it just felt more significant for my friends here to be with us on our big day. They encompassed my support system all these years of living in a foreign land. They have become my surrogate family and are as equally important as my blood relatives. Furthermore, they know me and Kenny better as a couple and we have shared so many good times together. In addition, having the wedding here in the US also provided my parents a reason to visit us. In retrospect, it was the best decision since I know how happy and content my parents were during their short stay with us and it was the last time I ever spent with my father.

Planning a wedding was certainly nerve-wracking especially for someone who is unfamiliar with how things are being facilitated here. We didn't have the privilege of hiring a wedding planner so dealing with vendors and making decisions on so many details was quite intimidating. I wished countless times that my sister and mother were there to assist me. Thankfully, when it was time to shop for a wedding gown, my then future sister-in-law and a few friends accompanied me, giving me the necessary feedback and encouragement. During the first fitting, Kenny's mom offered to come with me. I could still remember how misty-eyed she got when she first saw me in my gown. That poignant display of emotion truly made me feel very accepted in their family.  

  A lot of interesting issues came up when my parents arrived weeks before the event. When my mother came with me during my final fitting, she was more concerned about the superstitious belief of the bad luck that might befall from my trying the dress on before the wedding. I totally forgot about that notion but assured her that it's okay. I sure wasn't  walking down the isle with an ill-fitting outfit. She also had some reservation about wearing a black ensemble, worried that it might seem like forecasting doom on my marriage.  I reassured her again that it was an acceptable color for a formal attire. In fact, Kenny's mom wore black as well. That seemed to make my mother feel better. I must say she looked sophisticated and confident that day.  

Our wedding, by US standards, was pretty simple. Anyone who had planned a wedding here could attest to how much it can cost even if you're going for something minimal. A typical wedding here, on average, could set you back at least $15 - 20,000.00. It's pretty common for some couples to be shocked at how much things could add up to if they don't watch their budget. Unless you have unlimited means or have wealthy, generous parents, a (US) wedding's price tag can get really hefty compared to one in the Philippines. For a fraction of your budget here, you can potentially have the grand wedding of your dreams. I remember my mother saying that I could already have bought three designer gowns (in the Phils) for the price I paid for one here. Granted it was a nice dress, but it was not made by a famous designer.

Not that it made a big difference to me. I didn't really care so much about that. I was more concerned about personalizing the details of the event to our specifications. We made our own invitations, guest book, and give-aways (music CD). Kenny and I were so insanely particular that we even created our own playlist for the music to be played throughout the entire reception. Although we hired a DJ, all he really did was play the CDs that we burned. Talk about being control freaks, huh?   It was worth it though. We maintained a certain ambiance to the event to reflect our taste and personalities and our guests really let loose on the dance floor. At least we believe so.  

In a few months, we will be attending another wedding of Kenny's cousin, TK. He's the brother of the new bride. We were quite amused by this and have teased their father about how big of a hole it's going to make in his pocket. I also remembered something that a friend of mine told me about a Filipino superstitious belief that no two siblings should get married in the same year. It is believed that one sibling will have the worst luck than the other. Have you ever heard of this? Well, I certainly hope this is an unfounded old wive's tale. All I know is that these young people are lucky to find a great match in their partners and I hope that their marriages will be equally productive and glorious.   Amen!