My bout with flu lasted about 5 days and by the 6th day of being off from work, I felt ready and well enough to go back. With Kenny's nurturing and patience, it made those days bearable but the one thing that I noticed though whenever I get sick, I start yearning to go home to the Philippines. There seems to be a deep-seated longing to be in the care of my mother that I can't explain. I guess it brings back those childhood memories when she took care of me and kept me safe. It is Mother's Day and what better time to dedicate a post to my mother than today?

My mother was 19 years old when she married my father in June 1969. She was on her second year in college studying to become a nurse when my father swept her off her feet. It's kind of a joke in our family that I became a nurse to finish what she started years ago. Anyway, she gave birth to me less than a year later. She was just 20 years old then and based on what she told me, it was quiet a learning experience to be such a young mother and a wife. Not long after that, my sister Emily was born. Two years later, my only brother, Rufino aka Boboy, joined the family. Whew!

Throughout those years, my mother was mainly a housewife. Although she dabbled in a few business ventures and money-making schemes to help augment the family income, I always remember her to be there when we came home from school. Although she might have reconsidered going back to college, it never panned out. She made our family her priority. I recall those nights when she taught me how to read with only a candle to provide illumination (our city didn't have electricity then). She got me my own subscription of Reader's Digest so I can improve my English and she constantly quizzed me on spelling. Although on a tight budget, she pushed to purchase two whole sets of encyclopedias and a couple of massive looking dictionaries. Whenever I had questions about stuff, she promptly reminded me to use the books and find the answers on my own. I think that's what started my affair with books and the quest for knowledge. From being my earliest teacher, she guided me to become self-reliant and inquisitive. Without being pushy, she motivated me to excel scholastically and I was just more than happy to reap the rewards. I know that she and my father were proud of me too. Although humble people, they never failed to mention my achievements whenever there's an opportunity.

Just like most, my teenage years were angst-laden and rebellious. It must have been a shock to my parent's system to deal with a young girl like me. My mother was mostly on the receiving end of my stubbornness and needless to say, it was a tug-of-war kind of a relationship. I was very headstrong and I must have made her cry a few times. It wasn't a walk in the park having me as her daughter then. Things improved when I went away to another city for college. I suppose the cliche,"Distance makes the heart grow fonder" was very apt for us. I certainly looked forward to coming home on weekends and touching base with her. Although I had close friends, my mother became more of a confidante I know I can trust. There were many nights spent talking. My father basically gave up his place on bed on those nights that I was home.

It seemed that the family was complete and it remained that way until 1998. My parents broke the news that Mama was pregnant.  I remembered it vividly as I was in college and I was so excited with the prospect of having another sibling. Sadly, the baby didn't make it to a safe birth on it's 18th month. The family was devastated and I suspected my mother grieved over that baby girl (named Josephine) more than she let on. When I thought that was it with family additions, my mother got pregnant again and gave birth to my little sister Melisande in 1993. Thankfully, the pregnancy was a lot easier but some complication made it necessary for a caesarian section delivery. My mother was very anxious about the surgery. As I was already a  licensed nurse then, the doctor allowed me to be in attendance. It was almost surreal to be witnessing my sister's birth and at the same time providing support to my mother on the operating table. That was truly a unique experience ever.

The following months after my sister's birth were mainly spent sharing diaper and feeding duties. I had as much sleepless nights like my mother. She seemed to rely more on me, maybe due to my being a nurse. I saw a different side of her and we got to know each other more beyond being mother and daughter. We reached a certain level of communication, understanding and mutual respect. I also recognized her to be very protective, like a lioness to her cub. There's a nerve of steel in her I didn't know existed. This came to play when I was working at a hospital where a doctor uttered some threatening words directed towards me. When my mother learned of this, she basically travelled two and a half hours to confront the doctor, ready to do battle. He truly underestimated a mother's love and I think he learned a lesson that day. 

When I left the Philippines at the age of 23 for a better future in America, I embarked on a journey that was totally different than that of my mother years ago. I was living on my own, free and independent. I was earning my living, exploring new places, expanding my social circle and undergoing life experiences. Although I went through some tough and trying times, I remind myself that compared to what my mother went through, I still have more to learn and endure. My mother certainly didn't raise a wuss.  As I get older, I can truly say I'm definitely my mother's daughter.

When my father passed away unexpectedly 3 years ago, it was a devastating blow to the family, especially to my mother. Suddenly, her safe and secure world was yanked from under her. Although a strong person, she has relied on my father a lot. He was her anchor and pillar of strength, her bestfriend. I can only imagine the magnitude of her loss. I lost a father but I have my own life with my husband now. My mother, on the other hand, have to start all over again and carry on for the sake of my little sister. I recognized that she needed my support more than ever and I was more than happy to. Despite the tumultous relationship we've had over the years, I truly love my mother and I will do whatever I can to make her life better. Having lost my father too soon, I can't take the chance of not being able to show my love and gratitude to my mother. There's no better time than the present indeed.  

 Mama,