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A life without love in it is like a heap of cold ashes in a hearth, the fire dead, all warmth and laughter gone, and no more light.
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Recently, I was on the phone with a friend a mine from the Philippines who wanted to vent about a falling out she had with another friend. She was really distraught about it so I let her rant to her heart's content until she asked for my opinion on what to do. It was quite tough for me since I had to play the devil's advocate and presented her the other person's side as I surmised from the situation. Anyway, I still have to hear about whether that friendship will be saved. If not, my friend knows I'm just a phone call or text message away. Just like always.
Research found that having even one close or best friend can improve and extend your life. But we all need more than just one friend in case a friend moves away or is busy. A friend is defined as someone you are not related to by either birth or marriage, nor do legal ties bind you. Most social scientists agree that friendship excludes romance or sexual intimacy, or it has become something other than friendship.
According to an article by Dr. Jan Yager, there is a list of ten friends that every woman needs. It need not be ten separate individuals; some friend categories might overlap.
1. The Casual Friend. Someone you like and who likes you, but the friendship is far from intimate. In contrast to acquaintances or those with whom you merely network, there is a connection with a casual friend, but just information and activities are shared.
2. The Close Friend. Someone you'll be able to be yourself and they feel comfortable to be themselves around you, no matter what the situation is. You confide your private thoughts or feelings with a close friend without fear of repercussions because there is a mutual trust that confidences will not be shared.
3. The Best Friend. Like a close friend, the best friend is elevated to a high levelof intimacy, but there is an assumption of exclusivity. A best friend may be harder to maintain after marriage. However, as long as boundaries are respected, women of all ages may still benefit from having a best friend.
4. Same-Sex Friend. Someone who helps you to validate or challenge your own perspectives and to be able to share about experiences along gender lines. Friends of the same sex, usually have a commonality about some experiences, such as issues related to fashion, career, romantic relationships, or childbearing.
5. Opposite-Sex Friend. Having an opposite-sex friend provides each gender with the chance to take a break from those gender-specific ways of connecting. In that way, a woman could have friendships with men that are more activity-oriented (and the male friends could find themselves more comfortable opening up emotionally to their female friends).
6. The Nostalgia Friend. You grew up together, went to school together, or once worked together. A nostalgia friend helps you to have a continuity in your life and reminds you of where you've been as a way of reaffirming how far you've traveled in life.
7. The Role Model. This is a friend you helps you go to the next level, whether she's better or works harder, or has somehow managed to find the right balance in her life among her career, romantic, childcare, and friendship pulls and choices.
8. The Motivator. When you're feeling defeated or overwhelmed, the motivator brings you way up, as she inspires you, and inspires you to keep trying.
9. The Realist. This friend doesn't put you down, but she does temper your enthusiasm and wild plans with welcome and well-meaning realism.
10. The Nurturer. A nurturer is the one who offers her help, if you want to take it. She doesn't just point you in the right direction for help. Even more importantly, she supports you emotionally by empathizing with your joys or sadness on such a deep level that it helps you to feel safer and stronger.
Yes, we need these ten friends in our lives but we also need to be providing these characteristics to our friends. How many casual, close, or bestfriends have you nurtured lately?
hi rose! "How many casual, close, or bestfriends have you nurtured lately?" nice question, gimingaw hinoon ko sa ako bestfriend/closefriend nga tua gibutang sa Italy gibutang sa Ginoo. and you know what it's a HE! Yes opposite sex kaayo me but of my if we are together its a blast .we can confide anything and everything under the sun without having doubts and worries na baka i tsismis. our friendship was deeply rooted that we agreed that everytime the clock hit 6 o'clock at night we will pray to each other. he is a friend na kahit mangulangot ka sa harap niya dedma ka hahahhahahaha!!! at di ka mahiyang sa gitna nang kakadadakdak mo bigla nalang lulubo ang sipon mo hahahahhaha!! he is that kind and i am that kind to him too. walang kiyeme walang pretention. kaya na missed ko na ang mokong na yon eh.
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