It's been a few days since a had a little meltdown  while typing my previous entry. I didn't even realize that it was already getting to be a long one until I had to stop. Anyway, I still feel compelled to continue writing about my father. If I won't, who else will? He was not some Nobel Prize winner  or somebody of prestige  and social importance  whose memoirs people will be writing and reading about. In fact, he was quite the opposite. So, friends and fellow bloggers, I hope you will indulge me.

My father was a quiet, non-confrontational and unassuming person. He was good at his profession (was the Assistant City Agriculturist in our city) and earned the respect of his collegues and the people he served. As much as he had some political inclinations (it runs in the family, I think), he decided to stay in the background for the sake of job security and ensuring that his family was adequately provided for. My parents never took vacations or spent money on themselves. Whatever they had, they tried to invest in business schemes to augment their income.   Sad to say, the country's ever fluctuating economy and corrupt government didn't provide a thriving environment to those who want to prosper. Nevertheless, they had enough to send us to good schools and to college.

When I graduated   in 1991, my parents were there at my side. I could still remember how proud they were.  More so when I passed the Licensure Exam and the CGFNS . I knew that with every achievement I attained, they felt validated and gratified    that all their sacrifices were not for naught. Then, an awesome thing happened in 1992 . My mother got pregnant!!!   My siblings and I were definitely floored but we welcomed the news with  enthusiasm   and wonderment. My father was definitely beaming with pride . He was every bit the caring and doting expectant father. When my youngest sister Melisande was born,  I saw a different side of him I never thought he had. He was very hands-on and little Sande had him wrapped around her little pinky. Even Mama said that Papa was a better father and husband this time around. He also became more active in church and religious affiliations. He seemed like he had a second wind at life. It was indeed wonderful to see.

Over the last 11 years, I lived an independent life in another country. Whenever I hit some bumps along the way, my father never failed to let me know that I could always come home . When I finally met the man of my life , I saw some qualities in him that my father had. When it was time for him to meet my family, Kenny made a point to speak to Papa of his intentions. Being the conscientious father that Papa was, he made sure Kenny made an honest woman out of me.

When Kenny and I got engaged , we made plans for my parents to come to the US for the wedding. The first time they applied for the visas, they were turned down . We were down-hearted and stressed out . I was especially devastated since I dreamed of my father walking me down the isle. I swore that if my father will not be there, I will walk to the altar by myself. Kenny pushed for another try at the visas. Albeit reluctantly, my parents did and both miraculously passed the interview . My mother confided later that if they were made to choose if only one person will be granted a visa, she said she wanted my father to get it.   She knew it meant so much to me to have my father there.

Here comes the waterworks again   . To be continued...

hi Rose, na-touch ko sa part when you wrote that he said "you can always come home" if the going gets tough in your life here in the US. So opposite of what we hear from a lot of parents in the Phils when they make their kids their milking cows. So now I know where the name "melisande" came from.

Rose,
You're are blessed to have a loving and responsible father whom you can be proud of.

My father is, let's put it this way: my growing years would have been a lot easier if he was a responsible man. You know I hated my father for so many years because he made us (me and my mother) worked to death to make a living while he was either out drinking with his buddies or playing Majong. The worst part was after he’d gotten himself drunk, he screamed and picked a fight on the street. Ikinahihiya ko siya!

Had I not undergo a year of continues 1-on-1 counseling and catharsis; I would have despised him for the rest of my life. I don’t hate him anymore but still couldn’t bring myself to completely love him up until now.

Anyway, at least God rewarded me at the end by giving me a superb husband and I feel so blessed to have him in my life.

I am also a Bull.
luv,
Sevy

Awww, honey it makes me so sad to see you in such pain. Just try to take one day at a time and BREATHE DEEP ;) Thanks for stopping by to see my mess of a journal. My whole website is messed up. I switched to PRO and now I can't even get into my FTP account to do anything. I sent a ticket to bravenet and the guy sent it to some head honcho with a "We are deeply sorry for any problems you are going through bla bla bla" sent to me. I hope it's fixed soon. Until then I will try to keep my spirits up....atleast I can still blog :) Take Care You

So, what happened?? did your papa was able to come?? come girl, dont leave me hanging like this!..hahahah I am trying to get my mom over but I havent started my petition yet coz there were slight problems with our papers.. My sister though is coming early next year. I am asking her to come visit me with a student visa. we will see.. let keep our finger cross! see yah

Ger,
I do feel blessed to have a father who was accepting as well encouraging. Made me feel really safe no matter what. Btw, my sister Emily and I picked the name Melisande Rae for our little sis. Otherwise, it would have been Beverly or something like that.

Rhebs,
it's really sad that you had the misfortune of having a father like yours. Anyway, I guess it's true that what doesn't break you will make you stronger. You probably won't be the strong and successful person you are now without the hardships you had to go through. Take care

Nath,
I have come to accept my father's loss but whenever October comes around, I get a lot more melancholic. It was his and my mother's birthday month as well as my wedding anniversary month. Just too many memories...

Minnie,
My parents applied for the Visitor's Visa and clearly stated in their application that their sole purpose was to attend my wedding. They were granted a month-long visa only but at least they made it. Sadly, those were the last few days I spent with my father
Good luck on your Mom and sister's visa application.

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